facade
by thisisnotforyou
Summary: all it takes is one night to completely mess with puck's head.


**Author's Note: I originally posted this a few years back, deleted it, and decided to reformat and edit it. It is by no means my best piece of writing; I haven't even watched Glee in ages. But bear with me as I present to you my story once again.**

**I apologize for any grammatical and spelling errors and for my generally shitty writing.**

**Reviews and criticism are always much appreciated**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, nor would I really want to because Rachel annoys the fuck out of me.**

**Warnings: Male on Male Situations**

Just to get something clear: Puck was not gay. He loved women more than he loved himself (which, c'mon, was really saying something coming from him). But there was something about Finn; his best friend, his _bro_ that just got him so weak kneed. And none of his "customers" or Quinn or Santana or even Lauren had _ever_ made him feel that way. He was pretty sure that Finn felt the same way about him too, but there was nothing that they could do about it.

The first time it happened, it just _happened. _It was right after Baby-Gate, Puck and Finn hadn't talked for months, except for the occasional curse word screamed at the other. Then out of nowhere on a hot Friday night, Finn showed up at Puck's house. He looked like Hell and he reeked of Jack Daniels.

Puck was rightly taken aback, "Dude, what the Hell are you doing here? I thought you hated me."

His mother and his sister were out at his grandma's house for the weekend and there was no party worth going to so he'd just been sitting on the couch, smoking pot and watching a marathon of _Die Hard _movies.

Finn scoffed and rolled his bloodshot eyes, "You always were a fucking idiot."

_You're one to talk,_ Puck thought to himself, but didn't say it aloud. He and Finn still obviously were not on the best of terms.

Finn budged past Puck, inviting himself in Puck's home. He noticed the unlit joint on Puck's coffee table. "You know that stuff's shit for your lungs, right?"

Before Puck could respond, Finn tried to light the joint with a lighter that he pulled out of his pocket. Finn was struggling, his hands shaking from being so tipsy.

Puck sighed, "Here, dude." Without thinking, he wrapped his hands around Finn's and helped him light the joint.

Maybe it was just all of the alcohol in his system, but Finn felt his heart flutter. "Thanks, man." He mumbled and then took a hit.

The next half hour, the boys sat on Puck's sofa, silent as they slowly got stoned and watched Bruce Willis kick ass. It was like nothing had changed, but it had.

At one point, out of nowhere, Finn lay his head on Puck's lap and looked up at him, like a puppy. "You have really pretty eyes."

Feeling incredibly awkward, Puck laughed, "You have no idea how gay that sounds, dude."

"Fuck you, man." Finn got up and scooted away from Puck on the couch. "I was just trying to make conversation."

They were both silent for a moment until Puck blurted, "I'm sorry…for everything."

"Yeah, whatever." Finn put his feet up on the coffee table.

Puck grabbed Finn's head and turned it so they were facing each other. "Now listen man, I really am sorry. I-I don't even fucking know why I did it. She wasn't that great anyway…I just guess I did it because it made me feel closer to you." He said the last part so quietly, Finn barely heard it.

Puck's hot breath was on Finn's face, it reeked of weed and cheap beer. "It's okay, man." Finn said.

"No man, it's not. I fucked things up and I'm such an asshole and now you hate me and-"

Did Puck _ever _stop talking?

Finn shut him up by pressing their lips together. Puck's eyes got wide, but he returned Finn's kiss. His mouth opened, allowing Finn's tongue to enter. Finn shoved Puck down on the couch, straddling him like he was a horse, their mouths never parting. Puck laced his fingers through the belt loop of Finn's jeans, noticing how sexy his ass was.

Breaking their embrace briefly, Finn huffed into Puck's ear "I want you."

Realizing what that meant, Puck went cold for a brief moment. He felt Finn, his best friend, hard against his thigh. Neither of them were gay, not even remotely so, but this seemed to be the most natural thing in the world for them to do. Puck then realized that he wanted Finn too, he had since forever.

He looked Finn in the eye and gave him what he hoped was an alluring face, "I'm all yours, baby."

Finn woke up in a strangely familiar room. The stench of marijuana and semen hung in the air like an awkward silence. He tried to lift his head from the pillow, and it pounded like a drum. He couldn't remember what happened the previous night, only that he had had sex with someone, from the looks of the used condom by the bedside table. He felt someone shift beside him, so he turned himself over in the bed to see who he'd fucked.

The events of the previous night quickly flashed in his head. _Puck_. He had had sex with his best friend. _Twice_. No, slash that, he had _lost his virginity _to his best friend. Another boy. And somehow he wasn't disgusted by this thought.

He took in Puck's face. The smaller jock looked so innocent asleep, almost like an angel. Finn gently pressed his hand to Puck's cheek. Puck yawned as his eyes slowly fluttered open. He looked at Finn and smiled, like it wasn't weird that he had just taken his best friend's virginity. "Hello beautiful."

Finn blushed. In his many years of being Puck's best friend, he had never ever heard him use the word 'beautiful'. Hot, sexy, fuckable and _maybe_ pretty, but _never_ beautiful. And he especially would never call another man beautiful. It just wasn't like Puck.

Fast forward to months later, Finn and Rachel were the power couple of the school and Puck and Lauren…were Puck and Lauren. Both boys adored their respective girlfriends. Well Puck adored Lauren. Finn just…tolerated Rachel more than anyone else. Plus it helped that she let him feel her boobs.

Neither of them had talked about what happened months prior, with each other or anyone else. They hadn't even really talked to each other outside of the mandatory football practice and Glee rehearsals. That was fine with both of them, until one Friday in February, Puck approached Finn at his locker after school.

"Hey dude," The two bumped fists. "My mom's at a business conference 'til next week, Sarah's at Nana Puckerman's, and Lauren's competing in a Big and Beautiful beauty pageant in Chicago. I was wondering if you maybe wanted to stay the weekend. I got some Budweiser and weed. We could order a pizza and watch some Kill Bill or some shit."

They hadn't hung out since _that weekend_ the summer before Junior year began, so Finn was sure this would be awkward. But they wouldn't have sex again, would they? They both had chicks, and knowing Puck, if Finn even brought that incident up, Puck would threaten to kick Finn's ass. Finn was just being ridiculously paranoid. There was nothing to be freaked out about.

"Well Rachel wanted me to go with her to see Billy Joel in Cleveland. But I can't stand that song 'Uptown Girl', so I can just tell her that I've got the flu or something…Though why would I suddenly get the flu after school? But I'm not a doctor so-" Finn rambled.

"Just be at my house by eight, Talking Tina." Puck rolled his eyes, then winked at Finn as he slung his backpack over his shoulder and walked out of McKinley.

Finn couldn't help but gulp.

That evening, Finn arrived at Puck's house, his lame ass overnight bag that his mom made him bring in tow. It wasn't a good idea for him to wear his Letterman jacket in the dead of winter. His cheeks were frozen and he could feel his nipples harden, and not in a sexy way.

Puck threw open the front door, dressed in nothing but his trusty Levi's. He pulled Finn in by the shoulders, slamming the door with his foot. As soon as they were both inside, Puck connected their mouths. Finn kicked off his shoes and threw his back on the ground, returning Puck's kiss without thinking. Puck's hands started exploring Finn's body, and he removed Finn's t-shirt with one hand while holding his jawline with the other.

The boys rubbed their naked chests against each other like they were animals doing some sort of odd mating ritual. Puck removed his mouth from Finn's for a brief moment and planted kisses up and down his neck. Puck settled on a spot right above Finn's collarbone and began sucking.

Panicking, Finn pulled Puck away by the Mohawk.

"What the fuck, dude?" Puck rubbed his hair.

Puck's sucking was already starting to leave a bright red patch of skin. Finn pointed to it, "You can't do this, man! You just can't!"

Puck pouted, "Why the hell not?"

Finn grabbed his head in his hands and shook it. "Rachel'd get suspicious. When I even _breathe _near another girl, she suspects me of cheating. If she sees a fucking hickey…she'll go batshit!"

"Puckasaurus Rex likes to mark his property." Puck muttered to himself, "I mean, sorry dude. If I blow you, will that make you feel better?"

Finn couldn't help but smile, "Oh, alright. I still don't get why they call it a blow job when you don't really blow anything…"

The next Monday when Finn showed up at school with a turtleneck on, Puck couldn't help but smile.

Their rendezvouses became much more frequent over time. Once or twice a month, Puck and Finn would meet up at Puck or Finn's home or a cheap motel, if they had the money. They never would hook up at parties, because that was just asking for trouble.

Though Puck really liked Lauren, he liked Finn just a little more. Okay, that was a lie. He liked Finn a _lot_ more than he liked Lauren. Puck had started thinking that he even _loved_ Finn, not that he would ever admit it to him. That would just totally fuck things up. Well it had to be love, because he'd never felt anything like what he felt with Finn.

So a couple of weeks before their junior prom rolled around, after he and Lauren had just made out, he wiped the saliva mixed with Maybelline Fire Engine Red lipstick from his face and looked her right in the eyes, "I don't know if I can do this anymore. I kind of am into someone else."

Lauren did a double take, "What the fuck did you just say, Puckerman?"

"I think we should break up," He sighed, running a hand through his Mohawk.

And that was when everything went black.

Puck woke up with a throbbing headache and ice on his head. Lauren glowered over him, "Sorry, I've kind of got some anger issues…"

"No shit," Puck scoffed, sitting up on the sofa.

"Why you breaking up with me, Puckerman?"

Nervously, he rubbed the back of his neck. He couldn't tell her the truth, could he? "I- I'm in love with someone."

"It's Hudson, isn't it?"

Puck was taken aback. If she knew, who else knew? What if Finn himself knew? That would be the end of Puck. He wouldn't be able to go to school or anything without people staring at him like he was some sort of freak. A gay freak.

"How, how did you know?"

Lauren rolled her eyes, "He's your best friend. And you're always ditching me to go hang out with him. I'm not a fucking idiot, Puck. I hear how you talk about him, I see the look on your face when you see him."

Puck was panicking, it was that obvious? Oh shit.

It was almost as if Lauren could read his mind, "Don't worry, it's not that obvious. I'm just observant, that's all. You have to be when you've got three pairs of identical twins in your family."

"You're not going to tell anyone are you?" Puck asked cautiously.

Lauren shot him a look, "What do you take me for, a bitch?"

Puck was silent.

"Never mind, don't answer that. Well I may be a bitch, but I'm not a snitch. I'm there for my friends, and even though you kind of fucked me over, Puckerman, I consider you my friend. Your secret is safe with me."

"Thanks, Lauren. That means a lot."

"No problem, Noah. Now get the hell out of my house."

It was prom night and Puck was getting lucky. He had gone with Lauren, strictly as friends, she was kind of his beard of sorts. Finn had gone with Rachel of course, who had been glued to his side the whole night. Finn had told Rachel that his mom wanted him home right after prom, to avoid any bedroom encounters with her. If Finn was going to fuck anyone tonight, Puck was going to make sure it was him.

Puck had already made reservations at the Hilton where the dance was; it had cost a large amount of his pool cleaning money but it was worth it. He was going to make sure this was a special night. When the dance died down, he headed up, telling Finn to come up ten minutes later, both so he could get ready and so nobody would get suspicious.

The room he'd reserved purposely had a king sized bed so even Finn, being about as slow in the head as he was good in bed could get that this was all business. Or at least Puck's version of business.

Puck had dimmed the lights, removed condoms and a bottle of Picante (which he'd stolen from his mother's ever growing liquor cabinet) from his backpack and put his iPod on the Police, which he knew was secretly Finn's favorite band. He removed his tuxedo which had been stuffy and uncomfortable, stripping down 'til he was only wearing his Hanes.

He heard heavy footsteps outside the room, Finn definitely. There was a soft rapt at the door, Puck opened the door with a smile, dropping his underwear. The door swung open, revealing Santana in a tight and provocative dress. Her eyebrows raised, as she looked around the room, "This all for me, Puckerman?"

Even though Santana had seen his dick many a time, Puck felt exposed and quickly covered himself up with his hands.

Santana barged in the room and removed her high heels, throwing them onto a living chair in the corner of the room.

Puck wrapped himself up in a blanket, fucking up the bed. So much for making things romantic for Finn. "Go away, Lopez."

Santana put her hands on her hips and gave Puck one of her signature looks. The kind of look that said "Don't fuck with me." She unzipped her dress quickly, revealing a naked body. She'd once told Puck that there was no need to put on underwear or a bra when they were just going to be taken off anyways.

Santana threw him on the bed, she liked it rough.

Though he really didn't want to, he fucked Santana. He wasn't sure if this classified as rape. He didn't say no, he just thought no. Besides, dudes couldn't be raped. Could they?

He heard pounding on the door fifteen minutes into it. _Finn_. But Santana wouldn't let him get up. Fuck.

For the first time in his life, Noah Puckerman couldn't come. He just couldn't. He didn't find Santana attractive in the slightest. She smelled of booze and other men's cum and she always fucked him much more roughly than he'd care to admit. Puck just closed his eyes and imagined Finn. Pissed off, naïve little Finn, wondering where Puck was and why he'd stood him up. Puck could almost feel his heart breaking.

When Santana had reached orgasm for a second time, she noticed that Puck hadn't. She threw herself off of him, "What the fuck is your problem, Puckerman? Does my pussy repulse you or something? Are you allergic to it?"

His face was getting red with anger. This bitch had burst into his room, destroying his plans with Finn, and now she had the nerve to insult him? "Fuck you, Santana. I'm tired of taking your shit. And especially now. Please just get the hell out of my room."

Santana put her dress back on as quickly as she'd removed it, she stormed out of the room, throwing her stilettos at Puck on her way out, "Asshole."

Puck flinched as the sound of the slamming door. He checked his phone, which was on the side table next to his iPod. There were five texts from Finn, the most recent one simply saying "Fuck you."

He didn't really care when Santana, Karofsky, his mother, or anyone else said those words, but coming from Finn they were like a kick in the stomach.

Finn eventually forgave Puck, after about five blow jobs and two trips to Breadstix. In the summer, they got together much more frequently. Rachel was conveniently at Theatre Camp most of the summer and Puck didn't get a lot of pool jobs these days.

One day in the middle of June, when Finn was tracing patterns in the small of Puck's back, Puck whispered in Finn's ear, "I want you inside me."

Finn went cold. It was an unspoken oath, Puck was **always **the one who went inside Finn, not the other way around. That was just how it was between them.

"You sure?" Finn asked, wide eyed. He always looked like a naïve newborn puppy, Puck loved that about him.

Puck smiled and kissed Finn on the nose, "Sure as I've ever been."

Finn reluctantly put on a condom as Puck lay on his stomach. Finn was already hard (these days he was practically **always** hard when he was with Puck), so he gently stuck his fingers in Puck's end and Puck arched himself into Finn's hand.

"Enough with the foreplay shit already, Hudson."

Finn sighed as he entered Puck. It hurt a little more than Puck thought it would, but it was worth it. As Finn was thrusting and bucking against Puck's back, Puck felt much closer to Finn than he had to anyone. They both came nearly simultaneously with Puck yelling out, "Oh God, I-I love you, Finn!"

That made Finn stop cold. He slowly got himself of Puck, "What'd you say?"

Puck wiped sweat from his brow, "I'm in love with you."

Finn bolted up, rubbing his head with his hands, "No no no no no NO," He paced back and forth, kicking over Puck's bedside table. "You can't be in love with me, Puck. That's not how this is supposed to be."

"Oh yeah? How _is _this supposed to be?"

"It was only supposed to be a one time thing. I was drunk, we were both stoned and it went too far. It's too far now, I just can't do this anymore, Puck. It's not right." Finn choked back tears.

"Well it's a little too fucking late now, dude." Puck glared.

"I'm sorry, I just… have to go." Finn gathered up his clothes, leaving Puck's room naked.

Puck followed after him, angry. "So you're just going to leave? A guy tells you he's in love with you, and you just fucking leave?" He hollered down the stairs.

Finn turned his head, buttoning his pants, "I'm sorry man."

And with that, he left Puck standing there like an idiot.

Puck hated to admit it, but he was having trouble functioning without Finn. The boy was his best friend, his confidant, and his lover all in one.

He hadn't had sex in two weeks. **TWO WEEKS. **None of the girls that approached him were even half as attractive to him as Finn, so thought that maybe men would do the trick.

So on one of the longest days of summer, he drove out to Cleveland for the weekend. He rented a room at a shitty motel and took off for a downtown gay bar with his fake ID in tow. The club was dark and musky and none of the men were attractive in the slightest. Puck was about to leave when the only cute man in the place, a scruffy hipster of sorts asked if he could buy Puck a drink. What the hell, Puck had a thing for plaid shirts.

They talked and Puck drank and danced and Puck drank and eventually the guy told him that he was taking him home with him. Not asked, told. Puck was too drunk to function for himself but nodded some time.

The guy (Puck thought he had said some point in the night that his name was Julian or some shit) hailed a cab and as soon as they arrived at Julian's apartment, his hands were all over Puck.

He left a trail of kisses up and down Puck's neck and shoved him down on the bed.

Puck giggled, "Your beard tickles."

Julian ignored him and discarded Puck's shirt. He began sucking on Puck's nipple like he was a newborn, Puck's arms awkwardly wrapped around the guy's waist. Julian started to unzip Puck's pants when suddenly a part of Puck was telling the other part that this was wrong. He was with Finn. Scratch that, he had been with Finn. Or at least slept with Finn.

"Wait," Puck gasped as he pushed Julian off of him. "I can't do this. I'm…I'm seeing someone."

Julian scoffed, "So you fucking get a guy all horny and hot and then you fucking drop him? What the hell's wrong with you?"

"I-I don't know. I've got to go." Puck gathered up his shirt and stumbled out of the guy's place.

He couldn't remember which direction his hotel was or how far it was, so he just began walking aimlessly. He felt the need to talk to someone, anyone. So he dialed Finn's number. It was three in the morning but Puck didn't care, he was drunk and he had just led a guy on and he was panicking.

"What?" Finn answered, groaning. He sounded pissed and exhausted and Puck had no idea why he had called him.

"I just needed to hear your voice." And that was true, Finn's voice seemed to sober him up a teensy bit, as insane as that sounded.

Finn sighed, "Puck don't do this."

"What, stop being in love with you? That's pretty fucking impossible, Finn. I can't stop loving you, I have since forever."

"No, Puck. You're drunk and you're straight. I'm straight and I love Rachel. I don't love you and you don't love me. I mean I love you like a bro, but I don't love you any other way. 'Cause that'd be weird…"

"Finn, I'm not fucking with you. I fucking love you, you're funny and sexy and sweet and perfect and everything I want to be."

Silence. "Where are you, Puck?"

"Cleveland."

"CLEVELAND?"

"Mhmm. I almost fucked another guy, but I didn't."

"Jesus, Puck. People from Cleveland have diseases that don't even exist over here! Or you could have been hurt…"

"Since when do you fucking care about me? You basically told me to leave you the fuck alone. I don't know why I love you. You're a fucking idiot. You're too stupid to see that Rachel's about the biggest bitch that's ever walked the earth and you're too stupid to see what's been right in front of you all along. You fucking halfwit."

The dialtone on the other end told Puck that he really fucked things up this time.


End file.
